Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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Thank you to Justine Del Monte for featuring me for Women's Month. #Mediation #Conflictcoaching #Communication #relationship
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Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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How to select an effective mediator for workplace mediation"Whilst the mediator’s skills are important, the mediator’s independence is very significant. No employee will willingly divulge anything negative to a HR professional or a senior manager (those most likely to conduct internal mediations) for fear of repercussions to their ongoing employment.These inhibitions will prevent a full and frank exploration and discussion of the real issues at hand. It usually leads to a flimsy, surface level agreement which is short lived. When you hear, “we tried mediation, and it didn’t work”, it’s most often related to an internal mediation.Next, a word-of-mouth recommendation will help you find a mediator who is skilled and experienced. Ask professional peers, or search LinkedIn, where you can follow mediators to ascertain their approach. A specialisation in workplace mediation usually brings a deeper understanding of your workplace issues, processes and your employer obligations, giving you and the parties increased confidence in a well-executed workplace mediation process."
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Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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"This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog considers how we experience one another when in conflict and how we can set ourselves up for the conflict dynamic in ways that have an impact on the interrelationship – positively and negatively. Since we embody and convey energy it is a matter of holding up a mirror and reflecting what we attract and how we can be a magnet for good means and for not-so-good ones, too." Thank you for this timely post Cinnie Noble. I was reflecting on exactly this during a disagreement the past couple of days. In any moment we can choose how we want to show up, regardless of what the other person is showing, saying or doing. And watch how the energy changes...#conflictresolution #communication #awareness #choices
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Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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'But what it doesn’t do is “draft me a shareholders agreement”. That requires understanding your business, the shareholders’ competing interests, the corporate law of your jurisdiction, the emotional state of the parties and a plethora of other factors that go into getting complex things correct.'And for a shareholders agreement that stands the test of AI and linear time, nothing beats good conversation between parties and their mediator or lawyer to facilitate and ask the right questions.#founderstories#communication#shareholdersagreement#mediation#conflict#aishortcoming
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Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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'This book articulates what is, for me, the best outcome of #mediation which is "the changing of the quality of the conflict interaction." (p 35). To me, this is more valuable than the other benefits that mediation can be used to produce, such as reaching agreement. '
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Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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What does sewing have to do with conflict?I like sewing and I like changing the way people interact during conflict.Reconstructing clothes and reconstructing a relationship are two processes that, at first glance, might seem worlds apart. However, a closer look revealed to me as a mediator interesting parallels and differences between these two activities. When it comes to making something to wear, individuals have a range of options at their disposal. Some of these options include: 👗 Repurposing: Transforming the garment into something entirely different, such as turning a dress into a skirt or a pair of jeans into shorts. 👖 Adding Embellishments: Incorporating new elements like patches, embroidery, or additional fabric to breathe new life into the garment.👕 Start from scratch: Choose the fabric and the patternPreparing and conducting a conflict transformation session or mediation is similar.At one hand more difficult because you, as mediator can’t choose your raw material. You can’t put it down when you get tired or frustrated and you can't throw it in the bin if it doesn't fit. You don’t choose the nature of the conflict that comes to you, or the history of the people involved or the granularity and complexity of their emotional buttons and expectations, nor the strings of influence and impact of seemingly tangential matters.However, you can choose the best pattern, process and intended outcome for the raw materials you are handed. The mediator is always in charge of the enthusiasm with which they approach the task at hand and bring themselves to the room. To:👐🏼 Hold the space.🙊 Guide the flow of communication and the possibility to reestablish trust.🎶 Help the parties arrive at compromises that addresses their concerns.🍀 Show genuine impartial care for the parties and their desire to resolve the issue☕ Responsibly help the parties construct a new possibility of reconnecting and relating.Next time you have to reconstruct some conflict into connection, think about:1.How close or far apart are you and the other party’s final product? (No use if one of you is making a suit and the other a frilly skirt.)The act of creating, whether applied to clothes or relationships, underscores the potential for renewal and transformation. While the optionsmay differ, the presence of a mediator in relationship reconstruction highlights the significance of impartial facilitation and guidance in resolving conflicts.Partner Mediation Startupbootcamp Annemarie Van Raay Frederique de Jong Roelof Vos Morly Frishman Mareille D. Ton Croiset van Uchelen#conflictresolution #mediation #founderfallout #communication #teams #partnermediation
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Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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"Start from the point of view that the person you’re talking to is already smart, capable, and good. Even better, reimagine how your change can reinforce and protect that identity in those you’re asking to change. When your proposals and ideas about change make someone feel even more smart, capable, and good, you’re respecting and validating them for who they already are. Not only does that increase their openness to new ideas, but it also contributes to their sense of current self-worth and agency, both of which make any action they undertake much more sustainable. It also avoids a battle with their desired self-identity, a battle you’ll always lose in the long term.IN OTHER WORDS…People align what they do with how they want to be seen: as smart, capable, and good. Defend that desire as strongly as they will."
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Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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Is someone very firm, demanding or reproachful? The following questions will help you step by step to discover the motivations and interests underlying someone's position: 1. What makes you so sure about this?2. What happens if you get what you want? What does this mean (for you)?3. What if something happens or you don't get what you want? Then what is your concern?4. Suppose you receive < ...fill in what the other person said you consider important...> is everything resolved and peace restored?#conflictresolution #mediation #communication #partnermediation
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Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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Sweeping things under the carpet is an easy option but it means that at some stage you won't have the luxury to hide tension or fractured relationships any longer. #conflict #communication #workplace #mediation #resolution #relationship
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Naëtt Atkinson
From reaction to response l Mediator l Facilitator l Conflict Coach
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"What can employers do?There’s no easy solution. But the more leaders can try to bring people together to listen to each other the more chance there will be to resolve problems before relationships break. Employers should think about building facilitated conversations into their processes of dealing with conflict, allowing employees to have conversations with each other, facilitated by a neutral third party. This won’t always be the right solution, but it may stop the small things becoming big."Partner-Mediation#conflictresolution #facilitation #communication #mediation #listen
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